Vocal driving

"The car is you...you are the car..."

There are many places that one can venture to if they really want to see just how stupid the average person is (go to the grocery store). While driving you encounter far too many.

You want to talk on your phone, fine. Play with your radio, fine. Mess with your iPod, fine. Pick your nose, fine. Just keep traffic moving. Don't stop in a place that you shouldn't stop. Like...a passing lane. I followed a forest green Buick. On the road we were travelling on there were a lot of left hand turns, hence a lot of passing lanes. Ahead of us was a truck with a trailer and ahead of that vehicle was a school bus. Both turning left. So, the Buick swings into the passing lane and me and the 20+ other cars behind me start following suit...until the stupid bitch locks up her breaks and stops right in the middle of the passing lane. I could see cars behind me veering onto the shoulder to prevent hitting the car in front of them. All the while I am cussing this idiot out in front of me. She wouldn't pass that school bus until it was turning. It DID NOT have it's stop arm out, it was perfectly legal to pass that school bus, but she wouldn't pass it.

I finally passed and and gave her the New York wave while shouting a few choice words at her. She looked at me like she had no idea what was going on. She was clueless. I wanted to rip her head off. She should have her license pulled, she almost caused a 20+ car pile up in good weather, I am Minnesota, and in a couple months this bitch will cause that 20+ car pile up and kill a bunch of people.

Then have no idea what happened.

What do you know?

"What were you sent to protect?"

I understand that not all information can be shared with everyone. My only issue with this is that when you ask about something you aren't supposed to know you are typically offered a stupid lie about it or you are nervously told "don't ask".  I prefer to say and have said to me. "Yeah, I know what is going on, but I can't tell you. When I can, I will."

If you have to lie make it sound intriguing like "According to the confidentiality agreement I signed I could be beaten to death by midgets with clubs if I tell you." Or. "Circus freaks will tie me up and dangle me over the lion pit if I tell you."

It irritates me that when (for the most part) people get a juicy tidbit of information that they know no one else should have they flaunt it. The "I know what is going on and you don't" attitude. How petty of a person are you if you act like that when you are trusted with information that, in the big picture, doesn't mean jack-shit.

If you know where warheads are, how to hack into government computers, and all the secrets of life on earth...then you can cop an attitude. You know some serious shit, you will probably get killed for knowing it. Have fun before you die. If you know petty shit, really, does anyone care?

Genes

"Why do you give them faces?"

Why are there different races? Didn't we all come from Adam and Eve...and since Eve was created from Adam...do you see what I am getting at?

I don't know what to believe anymore. There have been other things that have made me question what little faith I have in my readings of religious literature. This is yet another. I don't like to believe in evolution, and I don't think I really do, but I am believing less and less in creationism now.

I don't know what to think anymore, but I really don't think that the races evolved to be so different if they are from two parents one of which was created from the other.

Hooked

"You aren't playing by the rules."

Another Saw movie is due out soon. They are getting painfully redundant, but I am hooked. I will want to see it. I have to know what happens to the FBI agent who has already survived a trap.

I hate that I will want to see it. They are getting to be ridiculous gore fests...and while I can appreciate those, this isn't what these movies had started out being. These started out as elaborate traps constructed to teach a lesson...and while there are lessons to be learned, (Follow his rules, dammit.) you can't help but wonder if the writers are all just sitting around trying to one up each other with the ridiculously gory ways they are offing people in these movies.

Spoilers. Stop reading...unless you don't care....

Now, Jigsaw...he had a plan. He wanted people to appreciate what they have. Their healthy life. He lost his baby, got cancer...etc. His life was shit and he realized when he had a good life he took it for granted. Now he wishes to force others to appreciate what they have.

 

This new guy...the pudgy cop. He's got me wondering. I think he needs to be motiveless. He does what he does because his sister was murdered, but, I think to round out his character they need to remove all motives from him. He does this...because he can. Having a motive almost makes it acceptable. And if you look at Costas Mandylor, he looks like the pudgy accountant next door and without that John Wayne Gacy creepiness. He's a guy you'd sit and have coffee with. You wouldn't fathom for one moment anything bad about this guy who looks like an insurance salesman with four kids and a mortgage. SO. Giving this guy a motive to be a nut job just kills his character. Show him going home to his kids, the surgeons kid (watch the movies for that reference, kiddies) and his plain, yet loving wife and show his life to be peachy keen. And when he's caught, no confessions, no breakdowns, no crying, no mental defects. He just shrugs. "Hey. I did it and I don't think I did anything wrong." Of course that won't happen. He will be killed and it will be a happy ending right? Maybe when they make Saw 436 it will be. Until then, I will watch all 435 Saw movies...because I am hooked, dammit.

Watch Slither

"Jesus Christ Jack, let me get right on it."

I have erased my posts that contain anything about work and workmates.

Slither, the movie. Go see it.

Just in case they read it...and if you are reading this, you can just wonder what I bitched about before deleting the posts.

Slither, the movie. Go see it.

Our mortgage company is staffed with assholes. No wonder no one wants to pay for their mortgages. After talking to them I want to let them foreclose and try to sell the house in this market. The woman I talked to tried and tried to push me to give her dates, I didn't. I gave her nothing. I have lawyers. They can talk to that bitch.

Slither, the movie. Go see it.

The back of Nathan Fillions head in this photo is incredibly straight...

Slither, the movie. Go see it.

Sometimes the clothes do make the man.

So this is where your heart truly lies?

I am not happy with how the makers of the PotC movies wrote Norrington's character. I don't believe a man like Norrington would go the route they had him go in the movies...but, oh well.

I know this, I wouldn't like Norrington's character at all if it wasn't for the coats he wears. I have no idea why, but I rather like those ridiculous, oversized, pompous coats.

I also like this photo. He's looking down her dress...for shame...for shame....(of course it's her fault for standing there in her underwear.)

Boromir...with frogs

A human mind can only take so much boredom before it starts wandering down the path of completly weird and ridiculous. Data entry can do this to a persons mind.

I have my iPod playing, I am listening to an audiobook, but still my mind wanders. After running through the things I have to do tonight and realizing that I won't have time to sit on my butt and play Diablo II my mind drifts off into the movie world and for some reason it settles on a scene in The Hitcher (remake) where Neal McDonough utters one of the best cinematic lines in history. "You have got to be five-finger fucking me."

With that great utterance in mind I blow off my work and decide to surf the Net to see if I can find a still of the movie when he said that. I can't. Pissed me off. BUT, I found this gem. The froggie photo.

Here is where the ridiculous comes in. I go back to my work after locating this photo and I start wondering oddities that I assume women wonder. Like "You think he bought his kid a stuffed froggie?" Hell, I don't know. I don't even know if Sean Bean has kids. Guess I can look it up, but, what do I care? So as my mind ponders Sean Bean and frogs it inevitably settles on Boromir and frogs.

Then I wonder..."What would Boromir do with a stuffed frog?"  Now, odds are Boromir wouldn't come by the frog because he slaughtered a family on the roadside. Come to think of it, did Gondor have frogs? Did frogs live in the Elves forests? Where would Boromir see a frog? Hmm. After many minutes of ridiculous thoughts like this I have come to a couple conclusions. One. Boromir would have no use for a stuffed froggie. He can't kill it or eat it and he cannot woo wenches with it. I think he would give it to his pansy brother Faramir. Two. I need to have more mentally stimulating things to do at work.

Pretty men.

You're not a eunuch...are you?

I pose a question to all women out there. If a man is pretty...such as Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom (if you don't know who those two men are, go back under your rock and hide from the world some more) are they really worthy of being called a man?

They are guys. They border on sexless sex symbols. The kind of men you want your 13 year old girl lusting after, because quite simply, they are harmless, asexual looking pretty people.

Rob Pattison...or whatever his name is from Twilight, he's one. Leondardo DiCaprio from the Titanic days was one. He's since graduated to douchebag, but...who am I to point fingers, after all Leo sends me generic letters wanting my money to save polar bears. Maybe I am the douchebag for using his letters as kindling for my fireplace. (Can girls be douchebags?) Back on topic....Orlando Bloom...in everything he's done has been pretty. Shia LeBouf is also a pretty (albeit little) man. They should be called 'guys.'

Reserve 'men' for the Jason Stathams of the cinematic industry. They are few and far between, because women want to look at men that wear as much make-up as they do. That's fair I guess, I married a man that on a day-to-day basis wears the same amount of make-up as I do. None. I married a man. He might not be pretty, but he's handsome, masculine and can't be blown over by a strong wind like most of those wimps in Hollywood. You know my husband is a man.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the PotC movies...but...my two favorite characters were Norrington (has to do with his coats) and Barbossa (has to do with the hat).

Oddly this rant was supposed to be about deja vu...and Sparrow's quote of "You seem somewhat familiar, have I threatened you before?" was going headline this, but when looking for that photo I saw to many pretty man and had to talk about them.

The apples...try one of those next...

There's no need to be killin' ya now...

I have a returned to an old liking of apples. Probably because I got lucky and found a kind in the bazillion kinds you can buy that I like. (Cortland. They are crisp and a little tart, but delightful.)

"Red Delicious" is a deceiving name as my husband always reminds me. I would have to agree with him, they look mushy and the horses loved them...

Have an apple today. Captain Barbossa recommends it.